Un Peu de Philosophie

Hey all,

Well, as I try and relax after my most stressed out day of the year, I thought of something I learned back in college. For once, a class where I'm thinking about AND using the material. The problem is, I forgot what the process is called.

This class was taught at the U as part of my Biz Management major called "Leadership in Organization: Power, Persuation and something else." Well, I truly enjoyed that class - but only because it was mostly a lot of philosophy and the professor gave us real scenarios where we'd apply what we've discussed and studied. One of my best college experiences.

Why was I stressed out today? Oh, just a few freak-out moments that turned out to be just fine. But also the fact that Friday and Saturday we'll be super busy at the place I'm maintaining, so I have to be on my toes to make sure it all goes right. Got some great help today, which I'm grateful for. But Saturday morning, it's just my laptop and I, baby!

So, back to what I learned in that class... which made perfect sense... and either tells me that the worst - or best - is ahead. Here is a curve. The curve represents my life (or rather, my emotions, which control my life, LoL)
Now, Think of these as happy and not so happy moments. The rule would be that as you move somewhere new (we talked about this in my Leadership class because we were talking about business professionals moving away from their town, or even overseas), you get high points and low points. As you arrive, everything's brand new, fabulous, people greet you and are nice, you experience extreme euphoria. But then, reality hits: your job's hard, you get homesick... and basically eventually it evens out.

Now, when I first moved to So Cal - it's obvious that I was at Point A. I got a sweet apartment a few blocks from the beach, I finally found a good paying job that gives me the responsibility and challenges and math I wanted, and I was excited to finally become an adult. I think (or at least hope) that I was able to convey that message when I first started my blog.

I now find that - since I've been living alone for a month, I'm pretty darn bored. I miss company. TV, the phone and the computer helps... but it just isn't the same. Not only that, but my job that I love has become... well, realistic we'll say. It's HARD. There's still so much crap that I don't know that I feel I should know by now. Today my neck is so cramped from all the stressing I've done, and I had a big stomachache, I thought I was going to get an ulcer. I don't even know what an ulcer is. No wonder I'm losing my hair. Plus, the bills. Dad was right - even after my first electric bill (remember?), you get a ton and it's not that fun after all.

Now the question is... Am I at point B, or C right now? Well, that depends how you look at it. I could think I'm at B and it's still going to get worse still, or I like to think a little more optimistically and think that I'm at C and this is the worse it's gonna get (for a little while at least), and things can only get better from now on. I just have to keep my head up.

Unfortunately, at Point B or C, some people can't handle it and go back home. Not me. I'm here to tough it out. It's time I become emotionally strong. I'm 24, darn it.

With that said, I can't wait for Point D! That's probably the time I'll go on a 2 week vacation to Tahiti in a few months. Nah, I have trouble flying over that much Pacific Ocean. Realistically, Point D will be when I get to visit Salt Lake and see the ones I love :)

Eventually, I'll be at Point E... and that's basically I would say 9 months to a year from now, when I'm fairly settled and feel uber comfortable with my job. Can't wait for E.

So there you have it... I took a nice walk on the beach after work to decompress, saw dolphins actually jumping out of the water... how majestic! I took a ton of deep breaths... and man, that felt good. Me in a good mood right now. Just wishing for an upper back massage...

Well, I'm going to finish the ratatouille for dinner tonight and add some scrambled eggs to it, in France we call that a "brouillade" I believe. It's good! have a good night.