Joyeux MerciDonner

I'd like to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving! I've grown to really like this holiday.

Now, I must inform you of my background: Coming to the US at 12 years old, I didn't actually celebrate Thanksgiving until then. Considering we usually have Turkey on Christmas, I was wondering why we had to have two immense meals in 30 days. To me, it didn't mean much. Just a family dinner... and Christmas has always been THE most important holiday for me. At 17 or 18 years old, I remember having mussels and fries like at "Leon de Bruxelles" or something for Thanksgiving (remember, mom?) - and it was so good. Very untraditional, but delicious. 

And tomorrow, I'm off to have a feast with "a new kind of family". No, not ABC Family, but rather my California buddies, who I have to say are just awesome. So far there are 22 people confirmed for dinner tomorrow. Yikes! It'll be awesome fun. On the menu will be traditional turkey, gravy, stuffing and cranberry sauce, and some untraditional dishes such as a Korean dish and I was thinking of making squash au gratin or something, but I have to work on my roux and bechamel skills for that. 

I like Thanksgiving - and this time of year - because it's the anticipation of the holidays. People are nicer, people are starting to think about what they're grateful for, which technically, is something we should do everyday. In fact, that's what the rule of my blog is, and I apologize if I may not have lived up to it on every post... but today, I'm grateful for a lot of things.

I'm grateful that I have found a great group of friends here and will not be spending Thanksgiving alone. I'm grateful that friends I have known for just 7-8 months are able to seek advice for me and confide in me. I'm grateful for friends that want to help me discover L.A. and are taking me out to a bunch of new places. I'm grateful for my family and friends. My family, just like other families, has its own drama... but we all love each other, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that people change and stop judging others before they get to know them or get their side of the story. I'm grateful to have a loving fiancé whom I love and adore and want to spend the rest of my life with, and I know that he truly feels the same about me. And if you don't see that when we're together and start forming your own opinions about how we're too young and stupid to be in love, then you're judging too quickly, so just stop it already. Please. 

So I've been doing some thinking... and I haven't fully decided yet, but a lot of things seem uncertain concerning my job. But basically right now with my job, I may have an opportunity to come back to Salt Lake for good as early as January 4th. Allow me to explain.

My field is creating 19 new positions where one can work remotely from virtually anywhere. With that said, some jobs in our clusters will be lost. Our cluster doesn't seem to be one of them. In fact, we may be able to hire another person, but that's still not certain. So, basically, I'd say there's a 84.37% chance that my job is safe. I'm grateful for that. When will I know though? No clue. Hopefully soon. But if I lose it, I'd like to know soon because the last day for me to apply for the remote position is December 4th, the hiring will be done by December 17th, and the first day to start work is January 4th. You know what's funny about this? That this seems like the perfect plan according to this post back in February. Allow me to post the important paragraph of that post:

From February 28th, 2009:

"So, what's the plan for my next 5 years you ask?

Well, the ideal, perfect plan: I stick with my job for a year and gain some great experience. I find a comparable job back in Utah to start on Monday January 4th, 2010, and my last day at my current job will be on Friday, December 18th, 2009 (I like details, can you tell?). That way I will only have to file one state tax return (quite a pain to do my taxes this year, which Mom and I finished yesterday by the way, hurray!! ). I have a beautiful two weeks to relax for Christmas before I start my new job. I will live at my parents's for a few months to save money, then Babe and I will buy a house ready to go when we get married in August 2010 (I assume August during summer break with school, and so that the Frenchies can come when kids are out of school). We have a wild crazy wedding night. And the rest is... well, we'd like to have kids before we're 30, and I want to know the joys of being a mom before the world ends in 2012 according to the Mayan Calendar. Lol. Just kidding. Sorta..."

Well, would you look at that! To the T. Except that my last day here would probably be December 21st instead of the 18th... sounds like a brilliant plan, right? I could probably live back home for at least a few months, save money as I'll have a comparable salary and no $1400+ rent, and have my life's plan back in place.

Sounds perfect. Except for one thing...

As much as I want to go back to Salt Lake, I'm not sure I'm ready for it yet. I like my little life here in Cali. I like the woman I've blossomed into. I like being independent. I like going out and meeting new people and discovering new cultures. I like all that. Granted, I don't want to raise a family here. But my "fun years" in Cali is plural, so I was wanting to spend perhaps one more year here, maybe 6 months. I do miss everyone in Salt Lake enormously... but I think being away almost makes that bond stronger because you realize it more. 

So... the question is, do I apply for the job. If I lose the one I have now, absolutely. It would be meant to be. "Maktoub - It is written." I will apply, hope that I'll get it, and be back in Salt Lake and be happy. But if I get to keep the one I have now... do I want to right now? 

Last night, as I was taking a shower, I was fixing the curtain rods. I slipped, tripped, and fell flat on my back. I hurt my elbow. Thank goodness I did not get knocked unconscious. What if I did? I'm all alone here, would anyone notice? What if something happened to me? How long until someone would call me, realize I'm not answering, and start to worry? If this happened on a Friday after work, no one would really realize until Monday when I don't show up for work. That scares me slightly sometimes. Ok, actually I've never really thought of it that much because I don't dwell on it, but things like the tub accident last night makes me think of these things and why living alone can really suck.

So this would be another reason why I'd want to go back to Salt Lake. However, I'm still undecided. This is brand new info by the way, we found out about this on a 13 minute brief and weird conference call on Friday.

Anyhoo, enough about this... I obviously have a lot on my mind and need to go to bed. I've shared a lot more than usual today. But basically, I wanted everyone to know that I'm grateful for everyone in my life and my situation. I'm grateful that, heaven forbid, if I were to lose my current job AND not get the remote one, I could come back to Salt Lake and Mon & Brent could take care of me until I get back on my feet. I am really lucky to have such a loving family.

So... now happy stuff! Thanksgiving starts at 4PM tomorrow, I will be making frozen pumpkin mousse pie and who knows what side dish. Ooh, and a salad too. Because my friends like my home-made balsamic vinaigrette :). And the rest of the weekend is just - relaxing and catching up on bills!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, please don't eat too much but enjoy yourself. I know I will :)